Woman's World

[ACovel]

It's a Woman's World

1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

3. Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.

4. Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him or Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.

8. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

9. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

10. Q: What is the difference between men and women.
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

11. Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

12. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "instruction manuals."

[voice_of_reason]

200 TV channels and she flips back and forth between Lifetime and We.

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"Hey fucksuck, get your slippery fucking ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the fucking car with your fucking ass!"

[DeanKoontz]

9. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.


OMG...that's funny....

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Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid.

[ACovel]

[capcityfreepress]

Haha... these are great! thanks, ACovel. And the most humorous things are the ones that hold a grain of truth of course.

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"Is this like one of those instances where people stop at a stop sign and expect it to turn green?" -Voice of Reason